do you know what it’s like, knowing a person, like really knowing a person, getting so close to the point where you know and believe that they’ll be around 20, maybe 30 years from now.. only to realize in the end that they don’t feel the same way about you? no? well I do.
crazy isn’t it? how fast people can change. one day, you could be hanging out with someone, talking about anything and everything with them and even sharing stories you would have never shared with anyone else in the world, and the next day? that same person can’t even bear to look at you. was it you? was it them? well how are you supposed to know when they turned off the switch faster than you can even say change.
it’s sad really. all the conversations you had, the stories you told each other, the jokes you both laughed at, the tears you cried on their shoulder, the secrets you kept, the memories you made.. all a thing of the past now. and the worst part? they don’t care anymore, but you still do. you try to salvage whatever remains of the friendship, do everything in your power to remind them that you’re still there - ready to hold their hand when it needs holding, to lend a helping hand when they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, but they just don’t get it; they just plain, flat out, don’t care. after all the things you’ve been through together.. the mountains you climbed together, the oceans you swam across together, the tunnels you dug together.. yea, you dug them alright, only to come out the other side all alone and wondering what the hell happened along the way.
to me, what hurts the most is when you think and reminisce about the things that you did go through together. you smile when you remember the good times, you sigh when you remember the bad times and you cry when you remember that they aren’t in your life anymore, not in the same way they were back then anyway. and while you smile, sigh and cry over what happened in the past, they’re going on with their life in the present, not even looking back.
eventually, you start to hate on them. you accentuate on their every flaw, recall all the bad phases in your relationship, remind yourself how horrible they are for leaving you in the dark like this and yet.. you still find yourself stalking their facebook profiles, following their every word on twitter and just missing them all over again.
and on the days that you do happen meet up with them, you know that it’s never going to be the same anymore. the bond you once had loosened so much so that it’s actually become awkward to be in the same room with them, and you’re hitting yourself on your head, wondering all over again how this happened in the first place.
but you know, i've been through so many situations like this that i've come to realize that it's just not worth it. it's not worth your time, not worth your energy and it's certainly not worth your tears. if they don't want to relight the flames that they themselves blew off for God knows what reason, then it's their problem; their loss. you have 50000000000 other friends out there in the world, so why bother with this one person that doesn't even care about the depression they put you through? it was their choice to change, their choice to chuck you out. who are you to try to adapt to their change just so you can relive the past that you had together, when they already made it clear that you are in fact, just a part of the past? YOU tried to be the bigger person. YOU tried to put whatever differences you had behind and pick up where you left off. but did they reciprocate? no. cause they just didn't care, they just didn't freaking care.
so if you ever find yourself in a shituation like this? remember this : FUCK DAAA SHIT. they're just not worth it.
-27
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